Why Engineers Don’t Write Recipe Books

Posted by Void on 11/21/2006

—– Original Message —–
From: Kathy
To: Leslie
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2006 7:56 AM
Subject: engineers in the kitchen

The authors of the recipe seem to think that the reason engineers don’t write recipe books that their recipes look funny. I think that if this is how engineers write recipes they definitely should stop, since (1) they think that brown sugar is unrefined, when it is not; (2) they leave open the addition of green peas instead of chopped peanuts; and (3) because they seem to think you can get chocolate chips through a cookie press.

And why anyone would substitute pure gluten for flour is strange. Using a cookie press for a soft dough is strange too, though technically no harm done there.

The eggshells are a problem, come to think of it… crunchy!

What do you think? Is it that the recipes are impossible for end users to work with, or is it because the engineer cookie makers have zero knowledge of the properties of the materials that they are recommending?

Kathy

Why Engineers Don’t Write Recipe Books
Chocolate Chip Cookies:
Ingredients:

  1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
  2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
  3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
  4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
  5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
  6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
  7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
  8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
  9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
  10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the raction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

# # #

From: Leslie
To: Kathy
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2006 10:17:35 AM
Subject: Re: engineers in the kitchen

The science is sound, but the implementation needs a little work. I think we must hire a chemical engineer to verify the stoichiometric equations of the chemicals involved. He/she must be cognizant of the the unrefined hydrocarbon issue and also be able to specify the amount and types of contaminants permissible in the guten. We must also hire a process control engineer to design a cookie press that will accommodate green peas. An industrial engineer can devise a time-line and a budget, and identify the critical paths in the manufacturing process.

Will this be mil-spec or COTS?

Leslie

Categories: Humor, Science. Tags: .

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